My Behaviour Is Totally Out Of Control And I’m Only 7 Years Old!!

I’ve just had a new little guy start in my class. It’s always the case that they’re only finally referred to me when everthing else has failed and they’re at the point of being thrown out of school permanently. In the mean time loads of time has been wasted and the child is so confused and badly behaved that if it’s not addressed will inflict massive damage on them as they get older. I find it very frustrating that these kids aren’t referred earlier — so much damage and heartache could be avoided.

People find it very surprising that my sympathy is always with the children… Why? Well, they’re the innocent ones, aren’t they? They’re deeply unhappy and confused. Their lives are almost totally negative –who in their right mind would want to live like that? I just wouldn’t want to be in their position.

‘Why then do children continue their bad behaviour if it results in such a negative experience of life’, I’m asked. If they feel bad, then they need to make changes…

So many adults just don’t understand and it’s so maddening and frustrating. Ok, the kids are deeply unhappy, but they’re not mature enough to make the necessary changes without the adults adopting behaviour management strategies that ensure changes will occur. It’s not difficult, in fact it’s surprisingly easy…

It’s a bit too much to expect little children to change their behaviour when they’ve been allowed, even encouraged, to behave in an unacceptable way for a long time because adults have failed to manage them effectively. These children have probably lost track of how they should be behaving in school.

To grow into confident adolescents and adults children need, and deserve, to learn the proper way to behave by being disciplined in and out of school. Anything less is bordering on neglect. If they don’t learn how their world works they have far less chance of succeeding in life.

The little guy who’s just come to me attends my classes each morning and goes to his mainstream school every afternoon. He’s done ok considering he’s been so out of control in school, but they rang on day 2 to tell me that on his return on the first day he was as ‘bad as ever’… Not surprising really… Only minor changes will be seen in mainstream until they adopt behaviour management techniques that impact positively on his behaviour. Ok, they’ll see some transfer of the more positive behaviour he shows in my classes, but this won’t become his norm in mainstream if their behaviour management strategies stay the same as previously.

If children have been allowed to behave unacceptably this behaviour quickly becomes their norm and they perceive the behaviour is acceptable to adults. They know they’re behaving badly but having started from minor indiscretions – a bit of a laugh, an avoidance strategy, attention seeking – it soon escalates and becomes habitual. It becomes a lose/lose situation with everyone involved becoming highly stressed and at a loss as to what can be done.

After a trouble free start I can guarantee the new little guy will try and behave in the way he does in school because he won’t be able to help it! Let’s see how we get on…

The school will be supported by me to learn my behaviour management strategies that will ensure they’ll see changes in his behaviour – it won’t be difficult for them… The advice is the same whoever I’m working with – I have 100% faith in my well proved strategies. The school will soon be confident and proficient. Anyone can learn to manage children’s behaviour effectively…

Liz Marsden is a highly skilled behaviour management expert who uses her expertise to train teachers, students and teaching assistants to manage children’s behaviour. Visit Liz’s web site to learn more about her work in her own classroom and mainstream schools. Liz’s highly recommended book, Behaviour Bible will give you all the guidance you need in classroom management.